DEAR DAVID

Welcome to Dear David - the page of your views. Hence this page includes many examples of e-mails and messages sent by you to me. You should find it suitably edifying and at times entertaining. You will find my comments in after each entry. Please note that not all e-mails and messages will be published published here. Also, note that I often only quote only part of the message, which becomes obvious in my comments.

I hope you enjoy them (they are copied exactly as they are written, so please don't blame me for poor grammar and spelling).

'Dear David, When I wear a hat in my caravan, more people look at me. They follow me sometimes. Is this anything to do with 2012? I ask this because I found my hat on a UFO? Thanks for everything. Bye! Love from Mr. Lambada'

Dear Mr. Lambada, Many thanks for yoru e-mail. However, I must say that I do not think that your problem has anything to do with 2012. Best wishes, David

'Dear David, You are a lovely little bishop. I like bishops, for they are always religious peoples. They are tall with hats that you can park your bicycle in. But is short for butter. So, I shall say 'however'. However, I love angles and healing. Sometimes I heal angels. Sometimes they heal me. Sometimes, when I am in chaos, I try to put an angel on my bed, but I miss and it goes under the bed. Please can you tell me about angels? I love your work. Love from Sally'

Dear Sally, Many thanks for your letter and its accompanying box of drill bits. I am not sure why you think that I would like such an array of drill bits, but I am sure I will find a use for it. As for angels, please do take a look at my website - and read my book, Absolutely Everything. In there you will find plenty of bits of information. Good luck with your interview for the job to drive bulldozers (I must say that it is refreshing that someone so keen on angels wants to drive a bulldozer). And thank your for the picture of the anti-aircraft gun, which, as you suggested, I have included here. My best wishes, David

'Dear David, I love your shows and your website and your words. Your mind is like the Yellow River, except that it is not yellow... Now, I like mediumship, because on Wednesday I speak to my ancestors through a long brass and bamboo trumpet. We love this procedure because we all hear voices that echo down the trumpet.... Also, I work in a firewords factory, which blew up once, and I was hit in the head with a rocket, which happily exploded some metres away out of harm's arms. Since then I have been able to see angels in my sofa. I love you! Bye, Love from Captain Drum'

Dear Captain Drum, Many thanks for your kind letter and the crate of fireworks, which I shall donate with love to the local old people's home for Bonfire Night. I am glad that you communicate with people on the Other Side. I know you use a bamboo/brass trumpet for these communications, but who is to say that this technique does not work? As for angels in your sofa, remember, always test what you see and sense. Meanwhile, good luck in the firework-making competition at your factory. My best wishes, David

'Dear David, Do you sharpen pencils? Because my daughter, who is in the local Tug of War Team, needs all of her pencils sharpened before Christmas. Also, I wonder whether or not you could tell me how fat I am. Thanks, and Happy Autumn! I love your work! Love from Mrs. Lake'

Dear Mrs. Capable Lake, No, I do not sharpen pencils. Also, if you would like a reading, please take a look at the READINGS page on this site. There you will find plenty of readings options and a means to pay for them. And happy Autumn to you, My best wishes, David

'Dear David, I dreamed of you last night. You were swimming across my orchard in yellow pyjamas. You were singing the Egyptian national anthem. What does this mean? Thanks you, Love Uncle Pamela.'

'Dear David, I know what you are up to - you slippery eel! ... Yes, I can see you now, smug at the Cigar Club in Mayfair, smoking your Havana cigars and smirking. It is not nice, don't you see! .... I put pylons up for a living - a real man's job, as they all tell me. In fact, the last one I put up was so tall that you can see it from space, and I should know because I was more or less in space when I put the last bolts in at the top... But, having said all that, please can you tell me if angels exist and do they like pylons? Thanks. Love from Circus.'

Dear Circus Ping, Thank you very much for your message. I impressed with your work of putting up pylons. But, your vision of me smoking cigars at the 'Cigar Club' in Mayfair is not quite right. Perhaps you are seeing some smoke coming from someone's cigarette in my local coffee shop, where I do go to consider things. Angels? Yes, they exist, but I am not so sure that they particularly like pylons. But we must be precise when we are talking about angels. See my soon-to-be-here ANGELS PAGE. Good luck, by the way, with your entry into The World's Tallest Pylon Competition. My best wishes, David

Dear Sally Pliers, Very many thanks for that. And thank you very much for the giant butter dog you sent me. It arrived refrigerated and solid. It must have taken you ages to sculpt. I have donated it to a local school, and they are so very happy. They have also asked me to convey their thanks to you! Best wishes, David

'... Dear David, Are you in a boy band? I love your top hat! And I need you... Love Sinbad'

Dear Sinbad Zone, What top hat? I don't have a top hat. And, no, I am not in a boy band. Thank you for the window you sent me. I have no use for it right now, but I am sure I will find one in the future. Also, many thanks for the axe you sent me. This will be very useful, because I have some logs to chop up for winter fuel. Have a good birthday in October. Best wishes, David

'... Hey! Dave, I love the site, and it's a great inspiration to me and our political cause. When I watch your videos I throw scotch eggs at my husband, and you know who he is, don' you? And we laugh SO much. Then we all pile up on each other on the trampoline in the garden. It's SO funny! I will be going into space in a rocket next week!... Enjoy the Fall!...I would love to see you wear no clothes! Your gentle servant, Hilary'

Dear Hilary Clinton, Many thanks for your e-mail. First I get 'Barack Obama' writing in and now you. Or is it you? If it is, please forgive my doubting you, and I do wish you the very best of luck in the Ohio Handstand Competition. Also, good luck with the up-coming election - the world is watching! Oh, and have a great time on the rocket! Best wishes, David

'Dear David... I am quite disturbed when I see aircraft and pins... please help!... PS I love you...'

Dear Helen Hat, Thank you for your sincere e-mail. However, I do think that you focus a little too negatively on some unneccessary things in life, such as those pins and aircraft. I emphatically suggest that you try to put them into perspective, as this would reduce their disturbing effect on your life. But well done with the weightlifting. It seems that this is a good outlet for your incredible reserves of energy. However, rather than lifting rocks and car engines, why not go to a gym and try some proper weights? You might even be able to get into the 2012 Olympics in London. Very best wishes, David

'... Dear Daniel, I see through the spinning rotars of a propeller that you do go on and on and on about some things. You have loved to talk about Love and you have given a lot of focus to focus. But please can you talk more about women's legs and how wonderful they are. Or women in general. You see, Daniel, I love women. I love their shapes, their lips, and always THEM. I love women!... Do you have a catapult?...

Dear Zebodie Window Prism, Very many thanks for your e-mail and the book of annual rainfall statistics for Provence in France. I did not, however find the book as good a read as you suggested. Please also note that my name is David and not Daniel. I shall try to put more about women on this website. By the way, no I do not have a catapult. Enjoy the cricket match. Best wishes, David

'... Listen up now, young David! I've got a new pair of socks, so that means the people will be freeeeeeeeee! It means no more misery ever in the USA! Hoorrrraaaayyy!...'

Dear Barack Obama, You have been sending far too many e-mails to me (so far: 3427). But please make this be the last. And I do not believe that you really are who you say you are, especially since you keep a bear in your bathroom. Either you are lying about your identity or you share your name with a certain presidential candidate. And, please, do not send me any more woollen hats. My best, David

Dear Zobe, Thank you very much for your letter and book on forestry. It is a splendid book, with some fine pictures of trees in it. As for your question about seeing through walls, well, I think you are in a better position than me to say whether or not it is true. Good luck at the snow machine festival! Best wishes, David

'... I am Barack Obama! What do you think of that?! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!..'

Dear Barack Obama, Thank your for your letter and parcel. I partcularly enjoyed the traditional way you wrapped the parcel, with good string and strong brown paper. I loved the bamboo playing cards and the wooden gun. The stuffed fox, however, was a little old. Now, although you claim to be the US presidential candidate, forgive me, but I doubt this slightly, not least because I imagine that such a position would be very demanding of your time, and so you would not have any spare moments to wrap and send parcels to me. But if you are that venerable person, then, although I am not one of your followers, I wish you the best of luck with your quest and I hope you enjoy the ride. With best wishes, David

'... David, you are a lovely little man.... You can stay in my biscuit tin any day....'

DearMiranda Haste, Many thanks for your kind compliment, and the kind offer. Even more thanks for the onion skin hat, which I promise I will wear at the next wedding I go to. Do please wish your daughter, Gome (which is a strange name, if you will forgive my saying so - perhaps a spelling mistake?), very well in the Olympics. And thank you for the picture of your radio. Best wishes, David

'... You really do bang on, don't you?... Ever heard about when to stop banging on?... And what's all this about age and death and discipline all the time...'

Dear Margaret Pencilface, Many thanks for the letter, the card and the broom. You do have a point. There has been a lot lately about what you mentioned. But it's just what I'm working on at the moment. It's just what's being said. Try to read the whole site, and you'll see it fits in alright. Good luck with your world record attempt at doing a handstand on a chimney pot. You will certainly need a great deal of determination to do it for more than three weeks, 2 days, nine hours and 10 minutes, which was, you tell me, set by a Russian truck driver in 1959. Best wishes, David

Colonel Captain Major Sexton Bwab of the Police New African Boys (PNAB) from Africa (but many visits to England for studies) says:

'... Dear Sorcerer, You have always admired my village. I know this. I am in charge here. And you are a sorcerer so you know things with the sky, is that right? Yes! I KNOW IT IS! Now, I spent some time in England with cigars. Yes, it is a little civilized there and I had coffees in places. But when I was on a train going from one place to another there were some very rude young men. Very rude! And there was an old people nearby...

... Yes, if the young men behave like this in my village, we know what to do. I KNOW WHAT TO DO!...

.... And, believe me, Sorcerer, they - the bad young people - do not do it again! Because. Being a Colonel in my Police I was brave as a lion. And I faced the troubled young hyenas and I hit them very hard with my heavy wood stick, which is of the officer class and has a metal end and made from the tallest tree. And yes, the hyena retreated back under my kingly lion's power and my heavy stick....

.... And I said unto them: 'YOU are a disgrace to MEN, and to your people, who are usually very gracious! IF! YES IF! IF this happen in my country in my village, you would first be whipped and then stripped and then made to work with the pigs for three full Moons! Then you will be forced to live in the pit that is full of all things horrible in filthy water AND SO YOU WILL MEET YOUR SOUL! And you will learn yourself for you would be in the pit for a full month! And you would never be allowed near a women for you should not have children! Now! Go off the train!' And they did.... This, Sorcerer, is the discipline that you talk about on your very literary website. Thank you....'

Dear Colonel Captain Major Sexton Bwab, Thank you for your excellent e-mail. I am very sorry about your experience on the train. Such nasty events are becoming all too frequent in Britain and the West in general. I must say that you dealt with it very well and I think walking sticks might well return as a weapon of self defence. Mind you, there is every chance that you would have been arrested had the police come along. One more thing, I really am not a sorcerer. I am an astrologer. Meanwhile, I wish you the very best with your Open University Mathematics Degree results, which you say will arrive soon. And thank you for the picture of your wife and children in the Land Rover. With best wishes, David

Dear Hilary Glider, You are kind to say what you have said, although I have no idea how you can make such a comment, for I have never met you, nor have I sent you any photos of me. I do hope your treacle tart wins first prize at the village festival, but alas I will not be able to start the sack race for the elderly. I will be away at the time. With best wishes, David

'... I talk to angels through a biro that my aunt gave me before she vanished. And if I take out the cartridge and look through the biro I can see angels of many hue...'

Dear Lady Shimmering Angel, Very many thanks for your letter and your drawings of your bear. I hope you have splendid holiday in Mauritius. With best wishes, David

'... I can see you, David, in my crystal plate. You have a lovely little house... You keep lobsters, don't you?... Because I can see them... Or I see one of them and it walks about... You call it Edward The Confessor... I love you too...And I can see you in the shower...'

Dear Molly Frazwad, Very many thanks for your kind e-mail and the hours you spent gazing at me through your crystal plate. Alas, I do not keep lobsters, but if I had one or two as pets I may well called one of them Edward the Confessor. But you are right that a hot air ballon landed in the garden last week. Well done, and Happy Birthday, Best wishes, David

Dear Hellen Quake, I have been known to go berserk, but such occurrences are very rare and have never been photographed. Please send my very best wishes to your aunty, who will, I am sure, win the knitting competition. With best wishes, David

'... Every evening my wife and I dance to the sound of your voice. We do this on the balcony in candle light. We have a young servant who plays the bongos for us, this makes it all the more musical... I LOVE Saturday Night Fever Film - you should be in it!...'

Dear Captain Zing Twang Kwok, Thank you very much for your lively e-mail and the picture of your cat (see pic). Enjoy the Full Moon next week. Best wishes, David

Dear Manly Figure, No, I do not have a hospital. But I do hope you enjoy the Irish dancing festival. Best wishes, David

We take things seriously in my village - you understand - but we like your website, and your face. However, I have an airoplane. Would you like to sit in it?....

Dear Bwab Bongo OOOOaaTabwOOOBB, Many thanks for your e-mail and the wonderful offer to sit in your plane. Unfortunately I cannot take up that offer. Not yet, anway. Meanwhile, I wish you the very best of luck in the world chess championships. It looks like you're in for a good chance to get into the final few.

Dear Sally Hillock, thanks you very much for the poster. I shall try to come along to the show next month. Meanwhile, enjoy yourself and don't be nervous. Best wishes, David

... Never seen such a bunch of crap on the website... You just talk ****.... Get your hed sorted and get real... Sick stuff... HAVING SAID THAT, I LUV YOUR ASTROLOGY AND YOUR POEMS ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD! KEEP IT UP!

Dear Lemon Beezaar, Many thanks for your e-mail and your balance of encouragemnet and criticism. With very best wishes, David

You are a lovely boy and here are some pictures of me with no clothes on. I took them all by accident last night when I was looking at your website... You seem like a nice boy...

Dear Katrine Du Ceil, Many thanks for the inspiring pictures, which I shall not be showing here. The lighting in Provence always amazes me. Have a good lunch with Pasqual!

Hey dude! You rock man! You really do! I'll ski for you anytime! Keep it up!...

I came to your site with a recommendation from a friend and I believed you would at least have an open mind... But you're just a mixed up stuck in the past fascist... You have no love... Not from me kid...

Dear Nurfoll Christmas, Many thanks for your e-mail. I am very sorry that you do not like the content of my website. I must say that it doesn't suit all. And no, I do not claim to know everything. Best wishes, David

I believe in equality so much that I have formed The Siblinghood Of Freedom (ie Brotherhood and Sisterhood equal in one)... We were so delighted that the famous woman seen recently in the news - the one who thinks she is a man - is having a baby. This shows great freedom and equality and is wonderful. In fact we were so pleased with that wonderful thing that we bought a large silver cup (The Woman Who Is A Man Cup), which we will give each year to the person who we think promotes the most equality and freedom.... We are currently working on a problem that one of our siblinghood has... He is 94 years old and feels that he should have the same (equal) access to young women as teengaed boys and young men. Why should we not, in this time of freedom, have equal access to prospective lovers?... Surely age should not interfere with this?... We therefore believe that for every young man a young woman has, she should also be ordered by the state to have one older man and one woman. Similarly, for every young woman a young man has he should be forced, by legislation, to have one very old woman and one man. This would surely operate beautifully with all the plans of equality and liberty?.... Thank you...

Dear Gregory Postleswaite, many thanks for your lenthy and enjoyable booklet on freedom. I learned much. I was particularly glad to hear that Nelson Mandela is 'glorious' and a whole 'heaven walking on Earth'. However, I won't comment on all your views of equality, for there are far too many of them, and I found it quite limiting for me to understand it all. But keep it up. And good luck with the tunneling competition. Best wishes, David

I must say my friends and I from the village film club enjoy your website hugely. It is most inspiring and I am glad you have some political interest. Not least, we are delighted with your Torie views. And so, we would like to add, if we may, a little political content ourselves, for you to put in Dear David. You see, Mrs. Crease, who is currently our local knitting champion, met up with me for a cup of tea after making some jam, and we had a wonderful idea. We decided that at our next village film club we would make a 'topical' cartoon about the state of the world. And so, here is our finished item. It is based very much in articles we find in various newspapers. I would like to thank the team for their wonderful efforts: Mrs. Hills for the spinning hat on the man, Mrs. Campbell for the pumping idea, Mrs. Catchwork-Patch for the final analysis. We recently showed it at the latest village meeting and it went down a storm. Although, I must say that it did upset Mrs. Budge, who found it 'horribly modern and not about love at all'. No matter, David, I do hope you have room for it on your site, and that it sparks off some debate, for we believe it is without doubt excellent political satire about the way things keep getting bigger and bigger for no real reason...

Dear Mrs. Simmonds, Very many thanks to you are all your team from the village film club. I must say that I found the movie rather odd and slightly warped, but it does I suppose have something about it. Thank you for image, which I see is from the beginning of the movie. You have clearly gone to great efforts, and so here it is. READERS PLEASE CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE SHORT MOVIE - AND IF YOU FIND NUDITY OFFENSIVE PLEASE DO NOT WATCH IT .

.... Man! ... Dude cool site... yool do well here... US side... rockin!... but you look like a stuck up geek to me... keep up the good work tho... And JUST LOVE the vids and the articles! but some are shit... Cheers!

Dear JIZ Head 87, Many thanks your your e-mail and your encouragement. It's always good to hear from New York. I shall try to tone down a little so that I don't come across too much like a 'stuck up geek'. Best wishes, David

I watch your site with interest with my karate pupils... Before we watch I say that four pupils must break a hole in a wall with a kick or a punch.... The reward is to spend time on your site, which is a big incentive and so many holes are always made... Please, you seem to be very wise.... Can you tell me why Japanese people are called 'Nips' in the west?... I have been told that it is because it is cold in our mountains, and that in English when something is cold it is 'nippy'. ... I have also been told by a wise woman, who lives in a village, that you call us 'Nips' because we are small, and so our dogs are small, and can only nip, which is to take a small bite. Is she correct?... Many thnk you....

Dear Kazugai Vzwa, I am amazed! Thank you so much for your long letter, which I must say was in very good English. So, your worries about that can be put aside. I am also most greatful for the wonderful things you sent, all of which arrived yesterday in a huge iron crate (see picture). I must list them here for all to see... So, thank you very much for the box of biscuits, the toaster, the portable house, the absolutely tiny oak tree, the plaster cast of your fist, the paper wall, the bowing machine, the fingernail televisions, the samurai helmet, the model aircraft, the paper dog, the pickled cow, the sun-powered hat, the pocket-sized garden, the invisible sunglasses, the wooden seahorse, the pliers. All of these things, I am sure, will be very useful indeed. I have alread sent the bowing machine to a local hospital to help injured people to learn to bow again, whcih is very good for them. As for why the Japanese are called 'Nips', well, I think it is short for Nippon. It's rather like the British are called 'Brits'. And no, there is certainly nothing derogatory in this. Meanwhile, have a very good meditation weekend in the icy waterfalls. Best wishes, David

I am a vegan, and I am very slim. I don't eat anything with a face on it, and nor do I drink milk or eat eggs... My shoes are made from paper, but I always write a regular apology to the forests for using their wood to make my shoes.... I also have many pets, all of which I save from the horrors and cruelty of Man, and men. Man and men are generally the root of all evil ever - sorry i don't mean to be personal to you, David, because you are a man, but probably a very womanly man.... All my dogs are vegans. They eat carrots and lettuce... Unfortunately my horses eat beef steaks and burgers, which seems absurd to me. A lot of people call me a sentimental, neurotic idiot with a perverse sense of Nature - would you, David, as a womanly man, agree with this assessment, which has been rejected by my woman's group? Thanks.... Love and Peace to you!...

Dear Ms. Hillary Doolah, Many thanks for your interesting e-mail. First, I must correct you. I am not a womanly man, or at least I don't think I am. I would also like to remind you that Man is not that bad, and that men are generally okay. I am slightly concerned that your dogs have a diet of lettuce and carrots. Dogs, you see, have teeth made for meat and have a carnivorous constitution. Horses, on the other hand, have teeth for vegetation, which is why I am surprised that your horses regularly eat beef steaks and 'burgers'. Can you not, as someone who is clearly so sensitive about many things, stop your horses eating meat, give the meat to the dogs and give the carrots and lettuce to the horses? Then, I think, you might get somewhere close to what is natural and right. Meanwhile, have a wonderful holiday in Honolulu. Best wishes, David

I say that whilst I hate most of your site, I must keep looking at it... There are some interesting things there.... I have been practicing black magic for many years. I did the learning in Africa, with a man called Bwa... He showed me how to turn my fingers into flutes, how to make it snow, how to be invisible, how to jump up very high trees in one huge leap, how to walk with hippopotamuses and sit on them without them knowing, how to talk to spiders, how to cook a wasp with a strong look from my eyes... and such like. I have since returned to Paris... and I decided to conjure up the devil. First I did an astrological chart, which I danced around, wearing the skull of an elephant on my head.... then I called for him. And he appeared in a small pink bottle on my mantlepiece. Unfortunately the cat knocked the bottle over and the devil got out, but was immediately caught by the cat and eaten... What can I do? ... PS I love your poems...

Dear Mlle Joline Du Rou, Thank you very much for your letter and the African shield, which I occasionally use in the garden. I also liked the ornate mask, which is a little too heavy to wear when I drive my car, as you suggested, so I have put it on my wall (see picture). The set of spears you sent is also useful, I am sure. I have given the shrunken hand to the local museum. As for your problem with the devil, I suggest you first of all put a dirt box out for the cat, to see if the devil ends up in it. And if he does, you can pluck him out, wash him down and pop him in another bottle, or, better still, a heated fish tank. Failing that, I really don't know what to suggest. Best wishes, David

Dear Figaro, Many thanks for your e-mail. And, no, I am afraid I cannot believe that you are a Nazi, nor can I believe that you went out of your way to write to me with that information. I most certainly am not a Nazi. And so I will not publish the picture of Hitler saluting from his car that you sent me. Enjoy your swimming lessons and I hope your butter factory proves to be a great success. Best wishes, David

You disgust me. But when I went fishing I saw your face in the water. What does that mean? It was a cresent moon....

Dear Bwim, thank your for your -mail. I am very sorry that I disgust you. I am even more sorry that I cannot explain why my face appeared in the water, nor do I understand its link with a 'cresent moon'. I hope you have fun with your new motorbike. Best wishes, David

What a diverse selection of stuff on your ever increasing website! Do you think I should agree with everything you say? - no one could agree with all of it, because some of it is quite offensive rubbish... but you do get me thinking and your good stuff is little short of genius, if not beyond it - thanks...

Dear Latva Pasty, Thanks you very much for your kind words. I am delighted you are reading what I write. Of course I don't expect you to agree with all I say, and I do hope some of it is not too offensive. Mind you, I don't even agree with some of what I write myself, though I did when I wrote it. Keep enjoying the site. Best wishes, David

You seem to think you know much, Mr. Cammegh, but I find what you write as a mixed bag of rubbish and good things. You seem like an angry man. I think you should grow up in many ways. You say you are a 'Torie'. What a stupid thing to say. I am not one, and I don't like them. But, you have charm, Mr. Cammegh, and I think you are working for the best...

Dear Wing Fong Peek, thanks you for your words. I appreciate them. And thank you for the hat you sent me. When I put it on it looks as if I am on my way to the rice fields. I love it! Enjoy your holiday in Pakistan, though I didn't know there were any great resorts there.

I bin now in african police from some time. My great great grandfather was a merchant in Holland - I have a picture for you.... I see many things like death. and so I punish all them. But they are all happy when they see your photo and we listen to your voice.... I have also bought a new wheelbarrow. This thing was sold to me by a gnome, which lives in the bushes and made me scream because he was a witch doctor in disguise.... Can you tell me if I am not with a bad spell? Thank you.

Dear Sergeant Daniel British Leyland Woab BOOOWagabo, many thanks for your letter. And many many thanks for the tiny stuffed crocodile, which (I hope you don't mind) I have donated to a local old people's home. Please know that all of the old people there were delighted, and send their love and thanks. More important, whilst I am not an expert on the dark arts, logic suggests that you you are not 'with a bad spell'. I would like to add that the vision of the gnome was more to do with the hallucinagenic toadstool you ate with your zebra steak. So, please, never fear. And the best of luck to you in the cricket match. I hope you get a good handful of wickets. Best wishes, David

You have finally made it to my dreams! I now dream about you all the time! In my dream last night you hovered above me like Jesus' hand and took me to other levels, where there was an abundance of love. There were also some animals, lovely ones, and the occasional wasp. And when I woke up I could have sworn that I saw you on my wardrobe! Thank you for your work, David! Kisses...

Dear Mirabette Sunlight Light, thank you for your letter, which, amazingly, was written in the finest caligraphy on a parchment scroll. I must say that I appreciate it and have put in on the wall. I would also like to say that your diagram of Heaven was wonderful, and your depiction of angels on spinning tops was glorious to say the least. I wish you well in your boxing tournament. Best wishes, David P.S. I have put the picture you sent up here.

I have downloaded your book Absolutely Everything. And I read it. But... but... What IS it all about!

Man! At times it makes very hard reading - even for a man of great intelligence. But, at the same time, there's something there and I'm glad I read it. The clue to this is that I read it to my baby daughter - she is 2 and she understood it quite well enough. It could well be very ahead of our time. Or it could just be a message to you. Have you thought of that? ...

Dear Herman, Many thanks for your note. Yes, I have thought that it might well just be a message for me - and any one else who likes it. But anyway, you certainly share a view with many others. As for my thinking the book is an absolute truth, of course it is not. Absolute truth cannot be captured in a book, or anywhere. By the way, thanks for the MG42 biro. It really is a fine copy of those old sandau machine guns. Really very good. Best wishes, David

... I am more than capable of shouting a wall down with my inner Ki, which is a force from everywhere.... But I have included a gift for you, which, as you will see, is a Pocket Living Machine. It is compact enough to put into the breast pocket of your jacket, or in your handbag, or in your shoe, and can easily be connected to any PC. Its main purpose is to help you live life much better than before.... You can put it on all sorts of settings, from 'Ghengis Khan' setting, which is quite lively, to 'Feeble Idiot' setting, which is very low, and should, I recommend, only be used when the battery needs charging. For most of the time I keep mine on 'Aware Leader' setting, which helps me connect with my Samurai roots. Keep up the good work....

Dear Professor Kazu, When your gift arrived I was in the middle of a dance with one of my cleaners, who will, because she is married, have to remain nameless. She put the Pocket Living Machine on the 'Pilot' setting and suddenly became aware of various laws of aerodynamics. She also took hold of my pipe and started smoking in a way that reminded me of World War II British pilots. I have since tried the 'Aware Leader' setting, and find that I absorb life in a very positive leader-like way. Thank you very much. Best wishes, David

I have no idea why your good country of England, which was once the land of cricket and cider, has become so lost in the European Union, and socialist politically correct dogma. Have you no sense of identity any more! We in Africa know we are African! You must also know what you are! I say this because I trained as a doctor in the great University of London, when London was not Brussels. I also say this from beside my pond in which swim several snakes and crocodiles. These keep my pond like a good foreign policy. You need a good army for that. And when we Africans fought you English and British, we did so with great respect, because you held your line, and held your purpose. So, pull yourselves together! And stop reading The Guardian, which is a very ugly paper with ugly ideas. My wife, who has a big smile, can dance to the drums like no one else, and sometimes with a basket of fruit on her head. Yes, this is what you need! Some good common sense! Now, go to it!...

Dear Doctor Trampoline, Very many thanks for your breezy and interesting letter. It was very good to read, and I am glad that you share my delight in Henry Fielding's great book Tom Jones. I must, say, however, that I very rarely read The Guardian. Also, many thanks for the dried crocodile meat, which I enjoyed with a glass of red wine and some gentle music last night. Best wishes, David

Dear Milva, Either this is a piece of Russian poetry, in which case it is very beautiful, OR it is something I really cannot help you with. And thank you for the bag of hops, but I am not yet sure how to turn them into beer. I will find out as soon as possible. Best wishes, David

Dear David, You're back (well, the revised and refined version), hurrah! Much more inviting, clear, witty, informative, intelligent, focused, stylish and even parent-friendly (I could go on). Slightly scared of hair, but a minor detail....I so enjoyed the article, 'Ease the Pressure'.... Thank you.

Dear Purdey, I am delighted that you're enjoying my new look and new approach. I am even more delighted that you are afraid of my hair. But alas, my hair is getting some very bad press of late. I must book into a certain hairdressers and have it changed. Enjoy the day. David

Dear Diana, Thanks you for your cooler blue writing. And I repeat - I welcome all criticism. Criticsm, when dealt with properly, helps you define yourself and your position. It is vital if we are to enjoy a true perspective on anything. I also accept your apology wholeheartedly. Best wishes, David

Recently I went to your site and noticed it had changed. Then I notice your YouTube videos were no longer their either....gone. Okay, he's changing things up I thought much like a libran balancing the fish swims in different directions. But, after reading some things on your site, in particular the "Singled Out" with the single mother and some fuck's comment on Hubris. I am not a femenist and I have been a single mom and not by choice.

Your comment felt like a slap in the face...no more like spit upon by some snob that looks down on single mother's trying their best to raise their children.

Obviouslly, single moms to you have no commitment or sense whatsoever. Only the ones who stay together. I bet you were raised a child who's parents are still together and had no serious money worries at all, another words a rich spoiled kid who threw fits alot.

Then the fuck's comment on Hubris and women trying to be like men! What the fucking hell?! Perhaps if we had a world of more honarable men women wouldn't have to do such things as men do. I suppose it was to be that I had a good family that helped me a single mother when my child was diagnosed with cancer, that I did have time to be with him other than go out to work and be away from him. I was not meant to be with an honarable man...fucks! Had I not have a family as I do, I would be just like the other single moms, left by a man for another woman and then accused of wanting to be like a man...Fuck that! As a woman you have to do things to feed your children and

put a roof over their heads and clothed, ect. Then men become pompous snobs. Walk in my shoes,, then again I don't think men have the courage to do so.

I figured you for a person with some compassion and helping others, yet i'm not so certain about this anymore. It's like you throw a fit when things don't go your way and you just move on without any thoughts of the other person (people). You want them to fit your mold and if they don't oh well, their beneath me anyway. They get to close, change it up. It's obvious people still will stay on and newer ones will come, but I see it's not for me.

But please take a look again. I am asking that focus is not WHOLLY on single mothers, which it often seems to be the case with the BBC and in much of the damaging politically correct press these days. Notice also that I say the plight of single mothers must not be ignored. And I suggest that some, if not many, single mothers may have suffered a tragedy of some sort that put them in their difficult position. This could have involved the evils of a nasty man, just as much as the evils of a nasty woman. In fact it could be the result of many things. But the point is that I am not blaming single mothers or single parents per se - take a look, there is no blame on them. The biggest culprit is the attitude of the day.

I am also suggesting that we should put more focus onto how I believe families are meant to be - that is, father (male), mother (female) and children. This may be unpleasant reading for those who are single mothers or children of single mothers, as thay may feel that they have done wrong, but for improvements to take place we must begin to acknowledge certain things as being a problem and move forward.

I am also suggesting that people do not rush into having children without the commitment of marriage. Properly planned marriages do, according to statistics, psychologists and common sense, help familes stay together and do so happily. This in turn is known to help the children grow up happier, more fulfilled and less ferral.

The women 'hubris' bit you mentioned is, I think, something in the letters to me (the Dear David bit) - another person's opinion, which, as I said, I more or less agree with. The world is, alas, over reaching itself (hubris) as much of it pushes to be what it really isn't.

As for my having compassion, I have more than you appear to think, perhaps even more than that. However, I have the courage to say what I think will help, face all the abuse of the politically correct, and try to help what I think are some terrible misery-making things in this world. Yes, there are some realities this world must face up to.

As for all the insults you poured on me, well, I was surprised, I must say - especially from someone who talks about 'compassion' with such conviction. But I suppose you were angry, and we all do that sometimes.

One last thing, please remember that people, including 'snobs', which I am not, or at least I don't think I am, are entitled to their opinions just as much as anyone else. This was, happily, a right that you exercised.

hey man.... you're so coool .... so wots up bruv :) lol ;) and dyou no what... lurvin de site man :) lol .... so funny wen you rite bout old peepal he he he lol... keep it bltzin man :)...

Dear Jezzy, Thank you for your message. Mind you, I have to say that it took some time to decypher. But now that I am happy with its meaning - or what I think it must mean (so forgive me if my response is slightly out of kilter) - I must thank you for your encouragement. And no, I do not take 'street drugs', and you would be wise not to offer them again. However, enjoy the swimming competition. Best wishes, David

Dear David, I am delighted to hear that you will be 'walking the wing' on a bi-plane at the Bigging Hill Air Show to promote your book. I shall be there to get your autograph. Love and best wishes...

Dear Hilary, Thank you for your e-mail, but I think someone must be pulling your leg. I won't be 'walking' any 'wings' at Biggin Hill Air Show, or anywhere for that matter. But thanks again for your kind message and enjoy the show. I believe there will be some great aircraft there this year - perhaps even the Vulcan bomber. Best wishes, David

Dear David, We donned our blazers, the girls had summer dresses. We had a barrel of red wine, and a cool box of white, and a load of ham and cheese, and french loaves and a few strawberries and put it all on a rowing boat on the splendid Thames. Then off we went. We nearly sank when we crashed into a rowing crew, who, like pirates, were desperate to board our craft and kill us. But we gave them the slip, with George pulling like a bastard to calmer waters. Eventully we entered the shade of a willow tree, not far from a country pub near Pangbourne, I think, and we spread out a great red rug and all sat down. Merriment ensued and Helen fell in the river, which was great for us all, because her dress went completely see-through and she had no knickers on. Then we recited poetry and a few bits from Shakespeare, Keats, Shelly, Khayyam, Waugh, The Bible, The Koran and your book. Sally actually recited Tennyson's The Charge of the Light Brigade, of all things. Soon after that George and Helen went off somewhere for a 'walk', but we knew what was going on, because when they got back we noticed that Helen's dress was upside down and George's trousers were back to front. What a great day, and all inspired, dare I say, by some of your ideas about life - we must, you say, allow ourselves plenty of opportunity for fun. Thanks...

Dear Simon, Thanks for that delightful scene. I wish I was there! Enjoy the rest of the summer. Best wishes, David

I find your writing excellent, deep thinking, expansive and a wonderful correction to all that is politically correct - that is your book, Absolutely Everything. Would I be right to say that you see females and males as being entirely different from each other? I say this because you make it clear that what we experience is directly related to our consciousness, and since women have different physical bodies to men's, they must be different at a consciounsess level too, making them different. And thus, I take it that it is terrible hubris for them to think they are men, as many do in the western world....

I asked Slak what he meant by the hubris in this situation... he explained....

Thank you, David, for your swift response. The hubris I am talking about is that relating to women's overall feminine nature - i.e. receptive and able to produce offspring, all of which is reflected in their physical bodies. If they therefore follow lesser aspects of their nature by agressively pursuing, for example, careers while not committing to families or the care of children (which women are clearly made for - hence their biology) they will be ignoring most of their nature. And, as you say, we will all experience what we are. And so if we ignore our true nature we are burying it.

But since it must be known, it will, as you say, 'knock' until it is heard. And if it is ignored for too long it will be very angry indeed, and will 'cause' us to suffer - see the rages of the Greek gods (their rages are the personifications of ignored parts of consciousness).

Hence so many women in the west these days are bitter shadows of their true self as they try for various reasons to be men.... Equally, men who pretend to be women, by, for instance, staying at home ('house husbands'), or carrying babies in front ruck sacks, they are also an inversion of what is right and will also have a few problems.... I would like to add that a family should have a father and a mother.

The structure of a family also relates to the true nature of things as you explain them, or as I interpret what you say. And since we so often ignore this 'truth' we experience it banging on the door very hard with ferral kids running riot, drugs and all sorts of problems, including the sinister strictures of political correctness....

I have to add that I am not for making some nazi state in which rules must be made to force people to be how they should be. I am indeed for the fulfilment of potential, even, paradoxically, inversions of potential, and the multi-coloured wonders of a varied and enjoyable life. That's because within any whole there must be inversions, or what is 'wrong' or what is just 'different'. But the trick is to reduce what is 'wrong' and increase what is right - not through coercion, but through just being normal - that is, not bending over backwards with all sorts of politically correct social messages - but simply reflecting and what the majority of people like... avp3

For instance I watched a video called Alien versus Predator III the other day, which was rubbish, not least because the heroine in the film was a soldier who came home to her husband who was at home looking after the kids. Now, whilst this is okay up to a point it is not what we should aspire to. It says to women - 'yes, it's perfectly normal to be a soldier', which is absolutely not true, and thus creates false expectations and thus creates problems... And that is where the hubris lies.... the good thing is that your work gives a key to help us understand the true nature of things, which will help stop this madness...

Dear Slak, Thank you for your long but enjoyable e-mail and explanation. Your English is excellent. And thank you for taking so much time to read my book. And I am inclined to agree with much of what you say, though I may not have put it as you did. And yes, I see what you mean regarding the hubris, which really means not being true to your potential by over-reaching it. We do see that all around these days and it is part of all the many problems assailing us now. You asked later on in your e-mail whether I thought things would change back to what they were. My answer to that in life is we do not go back anywhere, we can only go forward. The past is set. But I do think that a true understanding of things, as shared by all past golden age cultures, will be upon us again soon, but in its own modern way. And this will not lead to persecution of anyone, it will just mean that people will generally enjoy their lives. Best wishes, David

Dear David, I am referring to your article in Kindred Spirit about Free Will. I must say I loved it. But the thing is I make choices all day long and so can I not have free will? ... Love...

Dear Sally, I am delighted you liked the article. In answer to your question, try thinking about where your urges to make your choices come from. You'll find they come from a 'place' over which you have no control. In other words, we choose what we are meant to choose, even though it feels like 'free will'. We experience choice, but what we choose is already set. Good luck in the jam competition. Best wishes, David

Don't you just hate it when people use those silly abreviations, such as 'lol', and those idiotic faces made from commas and brackets - such as - ;) or :(? I really don't like them at all. I mean, if I want to laugh at something in an e-mail I don't want to be told to by its writer. Either they'll make me laugh with the skill of their delivery, or they won't. Such stupidity is all part of the Epsilon, drug addled, dumbed down culture that takes precedent these days. Excellent site - keep it up!...

Dear James, Many thanks for your e-mail. And, I am afraid to say that I agree with you entirely. Of course language must evolve, but some things are simply beyond evolution. And I look forward to the biscuits you have sent in the post and I enjoyed the Huxley reference. Thank you. Best wishes, and good luck with your exams, David

Dear Jagged K-Riste 287XX, No, I do not find you replulsive at all. Or at least not yet, I don't - perhaps I will if you send me a picture. Mind you, may I at least border on rudeness and say that you could do with a better name? Best wishes, David

Dear Mr. Cammegh, We read your book with all the children in the hut with the chief. His idea is for us to swim in your ideas and we will see through time and find wisdom. Keep it up! MR CAMMEGH!...

Many thanks Bwab, and thank your very much for the picture of your hot air balloon.